Lighting the fire and watching it grow or lighting the fire and pumping it as hard as you can to make it grow big and now, until you smother the spark completely.
Now, this post is close to my heart and one that has entertained me quite a bit in only the last couple of weeks. I am quite competitive and have always competed in a number of sports from bottom to top levels. Wanting to share this goodness with my own boy we entered and took part in the X-Race in Devonport- amazing experience and a heck of an event.
My intentions were well and truly sharing the goodness, the realty perhaps stepped out of that ‘best intentions’ once or twice. I realised I may have been going at a tangent really only at the end of the event. I should have however really picked up on my passion pushing from when we pulled into the car park. First of all I became anxious, as other families and parents were already there and warming up, not to mention all in matching shirts. So, locking the doors as my mother in law was only half out the car I had managed to get my son out of his car seat, and 200 yards away to secure our position in the queue for our shirts. I was then quite upset that the rest of my family hadn’t also acknowledged the urgency of the situation and significance of the event and continued to WALK! We secured our shirts and began warming up. We were 2 hours from the start, my son is 3 and it was a fun family event.
I was not alone however, when I looked around to size other families up my judging glares were met by other overly passion pushing parents sizing us up. The ridiculousness of the whole situation did not pass me by, but i then joined the masses of other parents who were making their children ‘walk the course’ looking for any short cuts. The fact that the race was 5 mins long and was completed along with your parent didn’t seem to matter, the fact that i was actually talking tactics with my 3 year old who continued to play with his new yo yo should have been a red flag, but it wasn’t. When my boy got on all fours beside me instead of jumping on my back for the horsey station of the race should have been a whimsical magic moment, rather than the astonishment that he would do such a thing and cost us valuable seconds!!! Perhaps it should have been the moment when I realised I was running, holding his hand and his feet weren’t actually touching the ground. Maybe even when i made him sprint finish to secure another position.
Recently we had the WeetBix Tryathlon for the thousands of young children to embrace an active lifestyle. What I got to see were the masses of families in the weeks leading up to the event doing exactly what I had done, and they were racing around with a map in hand and some very unimpressed looking children. What hit home was two clear groups of people. I am going to describe them as passion pushers and those that were sharing the goodness, one type has a better chance of engaging the child than the other.
The simplest way to describe both the challenge and the solution is through what I saw and now do. The passion and spark is introduced by the parent (or AN Other), it is then supported from behind and not dragged from the front. The biggest smile and therefore evidence of strongest connection to whatever they are doing is on those that are racing off in the front with their parents or loved one desperately trying to keep up. The sure fire way to put our young one’s off something that could be so good for them is when we a dragging them kicking and screaming from the front. You certainly don’t see so many smiles from these young ones.
So, perhaps we introduce, then feed off their energy and there pace rather than settin
g the pace ourselves. Like with any race or activity if the pace is to much too soon we crash. We all need to be mindful of interpreting ‘supportive’ and ‘encouraging’ to meet our own needs and expectations over the needs and wants of our young one’s.